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I have heard that readers like to know about authors and that is something I haven’t done much of. Mostly because I don’t think I’m that interesting and I am not being demur when I say that. I lead a quiet life of writing stories and yelling at my laptop. Why would I bore people with that?
It’s also rumored that readers want to know a writers process and they like to get into the mushy good stuff in the skull of a writer in hopes of having a better understanding of what makes them tick. I’m not sure I have anything of value there….my mushy stuff is probably outdated and will grumble at you for turning on the lights.
BUT yet again this week I read some authors chatting about giving the readers a glance or a full look into their lives. I decided to toss my hat in. The following as strange as it may be is what I came up with.
 

I don’t like fancy; fancy restaurants, clubs, or fancy people. I’m much happier on the tail gate of a big truck, with a beer and cheap flip flops from Old Navy. I’ll also take dive bars anytime on any day. Give me a good dive bar with bikers, loud women who have big hair and a shitty cover band. I’m happy there leave me alone and duck someone is throwing a pool cube.

I realize the above statement makes me sound like a country song. Yea, I’m not that. I’m more inclined to burn it down than to pine away. I’m Heavy Metal with Blues late at night.

I write full-time, not because I’m making any money with it or am particularly good at it. About a year ago my husband wanted to move from California back to his home state of Georgia. He wanted me to leave my family, friends, and job. So we struck a deal.

Since I could forge words together I have wanted to do nothing but write. I have written for different literary magazines, poetry journals blah blah. I wrote two books prior to Starburst book 1 in my series and had tossed them in the trash. My husband craved home. I craved to see through with this writing thing.

Thus the deal was struck I would gladly move cross country if we could figure out a way to give me some years off working to do nothing but write. Handshake, done deal.

I now live in Warner Robins Georgia and am in love with this state. No, I don’t miss California at all. Californians can have it. I’m good.

I’m 46 years old thus most of my “fucks” are gone. The glorious thing about your late forties is the amount of “fucks” you once gave about things start to dwindle down. I’m too busy being me to care if a man checks me out or doesn’t…ha ha, don’t care. I’m also too busy to bring on or bring in drama. The late forties is a gorgeous time in a person’s life to grab a drink, put your feet up and laugh at the young ones. 

I have two boys, one 13 and one 9. I’m never the type of person that tells people they “have to” have kids. There is no “have to” in life. You either wish it or not. I didn’t want kids for years then woke up one day wanting one, had two. Parenting is hilarious, aggravating, and the most expensive thing you’ll ever do if you choose to do it.

I will also never show you any pictures of my kids unless asked. Let’s put it this way. I’m sure your baby is cute. I don’t want to see the kid’s picture. I have my own, thank you. I’ll look at my own kids pictures if I’m so inclined.

I’ve been married 19 years. Marriage is ugly and beautiful all at once. When you are ready to choke your partner out they will reach for your hand. I highly recommend it and I highly don’t recommend it. Like parenting, it’s a journey some might not want to take.

Sadly, I’m not a great friend although I want to be. I don’t call as much as I should. I don’t text back right away. Honestly some days I don’t feel like speaking. Sometimes, I get to writing, reading, or gaming and forget the world. Luckily, I have a best friend of 30 years that forgives me these sins on a regular basis.

I will never ask you to go to a mall with me. I dislike shopping. I dislike stores with the exception of book stores or “adult” stores. I find both equally interesting.

With the “adult” store as a clue….

I’m a disinterested pervert. What does that mean? I mean I’m a pervert that keeps my perverted thoughts to myself and doesn't want to share them with you. Likewise, I don’t want to hear about anyone else’s perverted thoughts or see them. That means keep your dick pics to yourself fellas. I’ve seen lots of dicks yours is not that impressive.

Small rant: Why do men feel the need to send dick pics? When I first started posting as an author my FB messenger went wild with dick pics. Let me speak for us ladies of the world. We will not fall over then become hot and bothered by the site of your junk. We love dick, yes we do…but we don’t want to see your dick. Like the pictures of other peoples kids. I have my own at home I’ll look at that one.  I personally want to see The Rocks ass if somebody could find me a real picture of that, well then that is awesome. 

Sorry…

Monsters especially alien monsters are my favorite things and I hate gore. What? You’re a horror author. Everyone knows horror authors are mandated by the Jason Council to love gore. That’s a strong no. I dislike books, movies, tv shows where people are hurting people it makes my stomach turn and drives me to drink more than usual.I love monsters. I love kaiju and most of all I love anything alien.

I’ll never ask you to go see a romantic comedy. I will, however, be that weird friend that drags you to see Rocky Horror on the bad side of town on a Tuesday night.  If I can get myself out of pj’s and convince myself to put shoes on. If I have convinced myself into all that then damn it, you’re going also. My best friend can attest to that.

Most days you can find me in my kitchen tapping away on my laptop. Writing fulfills me. Once upon a time, I had a vacancy in my core. When I went back to writing and took it seriously the vacancy was filled. So now like an addict, I cannot stop.

On an any given night you can find me on my couch, watching something Sci-fi on TV, near me will be a Bloody Mary and I’ll be snuggling whoever decided to land near me…be it husband, child or dog.

Lastly, I believe myself to be both introverted and extroverted all at once. When I’m out in public I will talk to anyone. I believe that’s leftover from my years as a hair stylist and bartender. However, at the first possible chance, I will run back home to my cave and seal the door shut for days.  I have Hobbit tendencies.

 
This probably did not help you get into my head as writer. I’m sure I gave you no better understanding of my process. I gave you the gristle when you requested bacon. I get that but if I had given you the reader a long ho hum bullshit speech about how I go about writing my stories or why I go about writing my stories then you’d have no understanding of who I am.
I’m the type of person that doesn’t care why Stephen King wrote Carrie. I want to know what he had for breakfast and if he can throw a punch. That tells me more about the man.
I hope that the above rambling gave you a hint of who I am that in turn might give you a hint of why the characters in my work are what and who they are.
p.s. If I find you interesting…you bet your ass I’ll put you in a book and possibly create a whole character based on you. Just ask Craig a real life dude and friend who was my muse for Craig in Starburst book 1 in the Women of the Grey series.

 

 

 

 

 

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